MAY 2012

Hi, everyone!! I'm back here to share with you guys what things that happened around me which I do not know how to face it or talk to to my friends..May 2012...I would say it as a month which I really gone through what the old said..Everyone would need to undergo birth, leaving, death and pain...I really hate those feelings which I have feel it 3 years ago...3 years ago, on the same year, I lost both my grandparents and 3 years later I lost my grandma and I got a bad news which I would not want it to happened at the same time. This news is the one that I worried the most and afraid of...I'm always being glad and happy that I have my family members around with me and felt pity for those that lose their family members and now I got a news that my mum has a possibility of getting cancer after few body check-ups..Tomorrow is the day the report would be out..I'm worried and afraid..The feeling of afraid that you might lost a family member which is really mean a lot to you is suffering..Days and days of worry and guessing make people couldn't sleep and eat well..My mum wouldn't want to see me worry about her by asking my sis not to tell me the results of her previous report when I was in uni..Being alone staying away from home and knowing your own family member with health problems did make me being emotional..But, I'm glad I have friends around me that really care about me and got worried when I got sick..Thanks a lot: Yi theng, yi qian, chui yee, sharon, audrey and jc...They are always there for me whenever I need them and I'm really happy that we meet each other and become close friends in uni..I still couldn't digest what had happened these days...But I'll be strong and tomorrow will be the day to get a good news..I'm waitingg.......................................

Feelings toward dogs

Dogs??? In few years back, dogs to me doesn't mean much although my house rears few dogs. But after I shifted house dogs slowly mean a lot to me. I wiling to bath them, take care of them, feed them and do what I can for them. These willingness maybe started after Zouky got pregnant and gave birth to 7 puppies. While she was giving birth I don't know why there is a feeling of happy and excited. My siblings and I took turns to milk feed them and seeing them growing bigger a day and a day, that really gave me a feel of satisfaction. 5 puppies have been given to friends and family with 2 puppies left at home with her mum. The giving of puppies did made me feel sad and unwilling but as long as all of them have a good owner that treats them good I'll be happy.

But rearing dogs are really not an easy job. You need to be responsible with anything happen to the dogs and when you really loves them, when they got sick, you would be worrying them and would not fall asleep. 

I came back home yesterday and I realized one of my puppies got sick. Saliva kept on dripping from his mouth and he looks so weak. The moment I opened the door of the cage, he would always jump out and excitedly jump towards me happily. But yesterday was the first time, no matter how I called him, he just don't feel like coming out. The active and cute 小黄 became so weak and silent. The moment I saw him, I really upset and I just blank out, I don't know what's the next step I should do and  I really don't used with this feelings as he is the one would be the loudest barking when I'm back from anywhere. I was so worried and I can't sleep well yesterday at all. The moment I closed up my eyes, all the pictures I can see are 小黄. I'm afraid of what the vet would say when I bring him to the clinic and what actually happened to 小黄. I kept on thinking and thinking but I just can't figure out. I did tried not to think about it and fall asleep but it really doesn't work. I really try hard to don't think about it but my mind just don't stop me from thinking about it. But slowly I don't know why at last I got to sleep but I kept on rolling on the bed not really fully asleep.

At last, I brought 小黄 to the vet, and the vet said he might accidentally lick something corrosive at home that makes his tongue got burnt therefore his can't swallow and hence he kept on salivating. When the vet was wiping his mouth, his gum kept on bleeding non-stop. He has suffered so much that he could not even eat or drink. I can feel how he feels but I can't help me to reduce the pain. The pain is on his body, but the pain I feel it deeply down in my heart. Later on, vet suggest him to admit in the clinic for 3 days and see how his condition is. If he does not recover in 3 days time, the vet would need to have a blood test on him to check whether is he having any organ damage especially in his kidney. On the way going home, I have two thinkings : First, I'm glad the vet can give him treatment and therefore he has a chance to recover. Secondly, I feel unsecure, I'm thinking 'what if he does not recover as vet said the worst that would happen on him is kidney damage and if it is serious he would die' I just can't accept the fact that the one used to be so active now admitted suffering in the clinic.

Just now, I received a call saying that 小黄 is really weak and blood test would need to be carry out. I'm really worried and afraid about his condition. I don't want him to die and I would really not used if he is not around me any more. I'm afraid to receive calls from the vet giving me the news which I wouldn't want. I don't dare to blog this alone in the room because alone in room blogging this would make me cry and more upset while blogging this in the living hall with my family members there would stop me to cry in front of everyone.I really pray hard that 小黄 would recover soon and no more bad news calls from the vet only GOOD news. This is really what I hope for now. 

Got to go and finish my reports and homeworks. Hope that by being busy I can stop thinking about what I don't want to think. nightzzz 

Hi, i'm back ;)

My last sem for my first year of degree have just passed...i'm done with my finalssssss........hahahahah...how much I wished I can shout out loud in a beach in which no one can get disturbed while im shoutinggg...I just can't remember how long I did not go to the beach...the last time was like end of last year I think..

My wishes for the next sem:

1) dun study last minutes...heheh (*did badly in my finals)

2) hope to see mr X more often as I really hardly get to meet him in uni

3) hope I can get to a company that I can learn lots of things during my internshippp

4) lastly and is the most important, have a happy sem with no more pek chek and no more dealing with people who never thinks before they speakkkkk.....thats the end....

Nightzzzz

I really disappointed with those that thinks my dad is rich so i shouldn't work!!! Whether my dad is rich or poor that is his business not mine..I'm already 20 and in few months time i'll go 21..should i still keep on asking money from my parents????? Whats wrong if i work, huh??? When they work you think they should work coz they are 'poor' but each of them are using iphones and shops for branded stuffsss....When i work u say i'm money faced..i really get pissed off and angry..I'm waiting for the day where i can have peace, do whatever i want without being comment by ALL OF U!!!!

PLEASE MIND WHAT YOU TALK!!!

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HURT SOMEONE WITHOUT KNOWING

AND THE WORDS ARE REALLY HURT!!!!

No title

Basically, i dun really know how long have i lefted my blog dead...is just countless days...time is flying n not waiting...i used to be proud of my age but now as day passes i think im getting older soon...or gosh!!! This is what i dun want it to be...n it is pretty fast i have just finished my second sem..is really fast n i did not realize that i have been in the uni for almost half a year..is just like something happened yesterday...

How will i spend my two months holiday, hurh????? ermmm...part time job maybe and vacation...

Talking abt vacation to penang and langkawi..pray hard that it works...heheh..have been postponed and changed for few times..hope that it really works this time...so if it works, i'll try my best to upload the photos and share it with you all ;)

I think is time to sleep...good night peeps, sweet dreams~~

Should i say i'm clumsy or careless???

Hi, everyone. I'm back.I couldn't remember the last time i updated my blog..hahah..

What i wanna blog today is....I LOST MY WALLET YESTERDAY. And i don't know when and where my wallet fall. I went to my mum's office in the evening then drop by to buy fried banana..Before it, i took out my money then i leave it at the car door (there is a space which i feel is convenient and safe to put it as i put my wallet there always, but i'm sure that when i'm back my wallet is still there. Then went and fetched my brother from school, then back for dinner..I leave it in the car as i'm going for night market later. What a day?? When i reached there it was raining heavily so reached pasar malam but can't get to buy anything. Before that, i touched my wallet and i'm sure it was still there while i'm on the way to there. Then when i'm back, online and play my facebook game. About 11 plus, i stopped and searching for my wallet as i realized my wallet wasn't on my bed. So, get back to the car and search the whole house and room, i found nothing..The stupid thing was i went back to the fried banana stall and look for it but no result..So came back home and search again and again, still nothing comes out. Give up at the end..The next morning, went and make a police report..In the evening, my sis told me my wallet is in her bag. This part is the one which i dun understand. My sis and i are very sure that she did not put my wallet in her bag and i did not pass my wallet to her too (* i never be so confirm about anything ever) but, how come my wallet is in her bag..I dunno the reason, i really dunno..

I'M VERY VERY AND DOUBLE TRIPLE CONFIRMED THAT I DID NOT HAND IN MY WALLET TO ANYONE, IT SHOULD BE IN THE CAR!!!!!!! *but no one believes me.

New life

After jan exam till now, im staying at home, rotting, not that i dun want to work, just that i wanna relax till the max get enough rest so that i have the energy to go through my new uni life. What i should say, i'm waiting for it, a new life which i can start all over again, work even harder (maybe i didn't work as hard as i should when im in a-levels). So what course i'm planning to take after this, ermm...the one with highest probability is food science and nutrition in ucsi..I went there few times, their open day..The environment there, to me is consider gud if compare with my college as my college is only one floor..So i might apply for the may intake...There's lots of things to think about and do obviously..should i stay there?? on-campus or off-campus accommodation?? should i travel everyday?? To make everything easy, i should choose on-campus since it is just less than 3 minutes walk to the lecture room as that block is just opposite the hostel, but the rental fees is not cheap..

Next week, my parents are going to china..without them at home, my bro n i will be my siblings' driver...gosh

I wish I dunno who u r

There are times which i wish i dunno who u r to me, i should correct it, is everytime when i think about i really wish u never been in my life but i can't change what it is now..What u have done to me and the others i really couldn't forget about it, is really nothing just that u hurt it deep to my heart.You supposed to be the one closest to me, but it ended up u're nobody. I really do jealous sometimes why others can have such a good and kind P but i dun have one. There are times, which i really feel pity about u, which makes me wanna try to forgive u, but when the moment comes, you just dun catch tight ur chance so it just flew away. U only make things worst!!! U make me couldn't face everyone, which supposed to be the closest for me..Reunion dinner suppose to be something memorable, but i dunno since when i dun have the feeling of happy and eager about it. As is like im having dinner with strangers, no topic to talk, eating and sit there like nobody business..When something happens, they wouldn't wanna lend a hand. You would be glad if they did not give u a kick. You can treat people so 'kind' because they dunno that u r acting in front of them...When will they noe?!?!?!?!?
What have done is done by U...yes is U!!!!! I REALLY HATE WHAT U HAVE DONE AND WHAT U R DOING NOW, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN ALL THESE CAN STOP!! 如果有一天我已经不再在理会你对我的伤害那不是应为我不在乎是因为你已经和我没有关系了，对一个你不认识的人你怎么会去理会呢。。

FION SEE

A close friend which i met when i were form 1 is now going to US for further her studies..
What i should say about you??


* of course i'll never forget ur loud speaker, talks like wanna cari gaduh, but do take care of ur voice as we wanna to hear it when u're back


* a pair of big and beautiful eyes which seems to fall when you stares someone


* a girl which will tells out everything which she dissatisfies and what she hates


* share the stories which she goes through in her college and relationship


* sleeps in the class with books on the tables

*i like ur selamba action, as if u dun care but u still score well. Tells me how?!?!?

Her flight was yesterday 30/12/2010, luckily i have the chance to go the airport to send her off, this need to thanks to Mei fenn..as on tuesday i can't attend her farewell party due to an inciddent...thats why i really wanna go to the airport to send her off..Seven years of friendship..Lots of memories we have go through and the laughters which she bought to everyone of us..I'm quite sure that i'll miss her a LOT...so lets hope she have a safe journey to US..Good luck and all the best....


:)

The one which i hopes never will happen

hEY, guys. I think i have lefted my blog deadly for uncountable days and minutes. So, i think i need to update it. Last week, if im not mistaken, it was on thurs which i don't know why i dreamt that my mum has passed away and this is not the first time...honestly telling i really don't know why i dreamt about it but i do really hope that this won't happen because i really love my family a lot. Half way, i was awake, then i cried and the next day my eyes bengkak...i still remember clearly what i have dreamt..so i told my mum as one of my friend said you need to tell out the bad things that you have dreamt to that person if not it will really happen. When she said it to me i'll dun really believe about it as she said she dreamt that i have died, so she tells me so that nothing would happen...although i dun really believe about it, but for the sake of feeling relieve and not worrying about that stupid nightmare i told my mum...my sis n my mum were laughing about it while they looking at my bengkak eyes.*wth..i'm so afraid about it on that night and they can still laugh...the story didn't end..when i closed my eyes, the dream continued..i just dunno why the dream is continued..many of my dreams can be continue after i awake..such a weird person i am...end of story...will be back soon to update u all *i hope that but dunno when..

I'm back to my blog...i know that my blog is extremely dead...just forgive me, i really dun have time to blog, is not that i have nothing to blog..haha..weird right?? When i have time, there is nothing to blog, when im busy, i have lots of story to tell..Time really flies and doesn't wait..I have been working for almost 3 months..im proud of myself actually that i can work and earn my own money and bear with all the fussy customers that have tried few pieces of clothes but not buying any of them and some of working friends...Working there, i really learnt a lot..but one thing that i hate the most is people can fight with each other to get what they want, people nowadays are so cunning...they can backstab you and don't feel anything...they start to backstab each other, saying this girl very lazy, this and that but did not think about her own...my gosh...but luckily not everyone act this way...i do have friends that can talk to and share secrets, we even share our interest...*grinnnss...what is our interest?? guess it...haha

I have found a job....exam have only end about not more than two weeks...and i felt bored at home...during exams, i want holidays...now holiday i wanna go college or do anything else as long as not rotting at home...so im gonna start working tomorrow~hope that everything goes smoothly
:D

The Birthday Girl

FION SEE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~~
STAY PRETTY AND CHEERFUL

I HATE U

I'M HAVING FLU

Flu is the one i hate the most. But sometimes i do miss it..weird i know..but this time i really really wish i'll recover soon..i wanna recover!!!!!

Autumn's Concerto

Have been watching this taiwanese drama for almost a month..is a drama starred by vanness wu, an yi xuan, xiao xiao bing and lots more...this drama is so touching and it is about to end...haizzz...this drama is about ren guang xi (vanness) who got brain tumor has lost his memory after the operation...lost all his memories including the one he can sacrifices everything including his life to protect the one that he loves which is mu chen (an yi xuan)...The period where he stayed in the hospital, before his surgery, mu chen always beside him, taking care of him and being sad looking at guang xi suffering with the treatments..before guang xi and mu chen together, guang xi decided not to go for the surgery, but after listening to mu chen's advice, he decided to go for the operation but the operation he chosen was with lower success rate..this is because the higher living rate operation can be done with the help of yi qian's (*i dun really remember her real name, but what i know is she is ruan jing tian's gf..haha) dad...Yi qian likes guang xi from the first time they met...guang xi's mother do not like mu chen as she comes from a poor and complicated family, so she wants his son to get together with yi xuan as his dad is rich...yi xuan is a doctor...one day, guang xi's mum showed mu chen webcam video about her conversation with yi qian talking about the higher living rate operation which he wants guang xi to go for...then she told mu chen that because of her, his son chosen the more dangeorous operation..mu chen of course hope that guang xi can go for the better treatment so she agree with guang xi's mum by pretending that guang xi will go for the lower living probability surgery...when guang xi is given anaesthasia, then they will change it to the better living rate operation without guang xi's notice...then guang xi's mum asked mu chen how will she balas yi qian and his dad budi by rescue guang xi...mu chen understand what guang xi' s mum wants her to do as before this she has gave her an amount of money when she is taking care of guang xi..but she didnt accept the cheque...so after quang xi is pushed to the opearation theatre, mu chen left guang xi...the anaesthasia given to guang xi is not strong enough so he noticed that the doctors are all changed then he lefted the operation theatre and he counldn't find mu chen..so he knew that his mum has forced mu chen to leave...so without taking care of his own life, he went to look for mu chen..he saw she and tuo ye ( a guy which likes mu chen )...he beg and beg her not to leave him, but my chen said some words which really hurts him...he continue to chase the car, and he stopped..then suddenly mu chen's stepfather (he is the one wants to rape mu chen and always took the pic of mu chen and peep her when she was bathing) came and stabbed guang xi...when mu chen wanna to come down from the car, he can't see guang xi...she tought that he has lefted...so, yi qian and guang xi's mum arrived since mu chen gave them a call to pick him up and he had undergo the surgery..After the surgery, the forst person to be beside him was yi qian..At that time he couldn't talk and do not know how to take care himself...he is just like a 5 years old kid...Yi qian be beside him and teach him everything from the beginning...he recovered but without his memory....She has took 3 years to teach him how to speak, how to tie shoelaces...Then he took another 3 years to finish his studies and he became a popular lawyer, a lawyer which can win cases as long as there is money...he no longer a brave and willing to help others...This 6 years he and yi qian gt together and their relationship stays good...there is a case where a man has rape his maid's daughter...no matter how much the girl said, no one believes her...and that man won as guang xi was his lawyer...but after that man won, he said something hurtful to the girl, guang xi just feel angry and beat him...he just don't know why he will do that...therefore, he has been ask to go to hua tian chun to do social work...at there he met mu chen and lives at her house..mu chen has a son named xiao le, he is the son of guang xi too...when mu chen lefted guang xi and reached hua tian chun, she only noticed that she is pregnant and decided to bring the child to the world...xiao le who do not has a father, called guang xi as father at the moment he saw guang xi..but mu chen told him that guang xi was not his dad...few weeks later, when guang xi supposed to go back to taipei, xiao le wants him to stay but he needs to go back as he and yi qian will be getting married...xiao le and guang xi each does not want to leave each other...During the period guang xi in hua tian chun, he has changed a lot..change to the one he was 6 years ago....Xiao le went to taipei and look for guang xi alone and admitted to hospital as xiao le has diabetes when he was born..so he need to be injected everyday...that day he ran out of the house without injection...then guang xi asked xiao ling (a lawyer too and he is the sifu of guang xi) that what has happened to him before his surgery...xiao lin asked him to open a box which he can find his memory there..but he refused and he said he going to get marry soon so he do not care about the past..then, when he was washing the bracelet which he wears and gave it to xiao le as a gift before he lefted hua tian chun as on the bracelet there is blood..so a memory card fell, he opens it and he saw the pictures which he and mu chen had taken 6 years ago and he remembers everything...so the next day, he and yi qian do not get married because yi qian and guang xi's mum get together not to tell him what has happened to him 6 years ago..they gave him new memory and does not talk anything about mu chen to guang xi...so guang xi was very angry and he thought that mu chen lefted him and happily get together with tou ye...he angry also because of no matter how much he has begged him to stay 6 years ago, but she didnt stay...and he told mu chen that her stepfather has stabbed him and mu chen said she dunno about it..but guang xi does not believe...he knew that xiao le was his son and he told mu chen that no matter how he wants his son back...i watched till here...i can't wait for another about 70 hours to watch the next episode..i really can't wait for it...i just refuse to watch it at pps coz i like the feeling of chasing it...haha...gud night everyone

My dear blog, has not been updated for quite some time...
My last sem of a levels is going to end on june...time really past fast...so fast now i have lefted my secondary school for almost 2 years...is really fast..and the most important thing is I'M GETTING OLDER....maybe when someone gets elder, they do think more than those younger...i dunno so far how true is it...but, i do think more than what i used to think...i wish i can turn the clock and go back to the time when i was young, where i don't need to worry this and worry that...anyway, i have to grow..time won't wait..so just do what i wanna and what i like...talk about my studies then....exam is just around the corner...and it is about 1 month plus long...how am i going to survive in that month...since my previous exam i really dissapointed about it but i'll try my very best now...i don't want to dissapoint my parents and i don't want to waste their money...i really gt nothing to crap..just stop here..nights, everyone~~

MY WISH COME TRUE

Since form 3, i hope this wish will come true one day...without notice, i have waited for so long...this shows that time is continue passing by and i'm getting OLDER...age is getting older but i dun think so i'm prepared to be older...really never thought of that dream will come true..the time when i really hope it will happen, it doesn't happen in anyway..this is really a BIG SURPRISE!! This is the best present i received in this tiger year...with this i dun need anything else....

MY BIO LECTURE

As usual bio lecture is superb boring and on tues, we learnt about human eyes...
where the optic nerve, blind spot all comes out..last 30 minutes, the lecturer
asked us to move forward then in a tray, there is a plastic bag and it contains animals'
eyes..at first i thought it was fake eyes so is okay..who knows it was REAL eyes..but obviously it won't be human eyes...it is my zodiac sign...GOATS' EYES...we need to dissect THE GOAT'S EYES...i think is the fresh ones...so at first, we need to poke its eyes so that the aqueous thingy flows out, then use a scissors and cut around it's eyes so that we can see what is inside it..then, you can see its lens and some black fluid will come out..you can also see optic nerve, and all the nerves...at first it was disgusting but with the gloves, i think it was quite fun dissecting...anyway, SORRY GOAT~~~

Hate Insects

I just don't understand why all the insects 'like' me so much?!?!?! But sorry to say I HATE them to the max...there is once where yi theng and i went to a shop and eat mee hun kueh..that shop has a quite tasty food and quite clean..but, maybe the food's smell is too attractive therefore there are flies..i don't mind if a restaurant or shop has flies as long as the food is clean enough and safe for me to put it inside my tam jiak mouth...hahah..while i was enjoying my food, i was looking an uncle trying to kill a fly with a stick ..i was wondering will that house-fly peww~~ to me when that uncle is trying to kill it...what i think really happened...that house-fly really pew~~ to me and almost fall into my mee hun kueh...my gosh~~it falls on my shirt...so disgusting..alright forget about this...
Another one was when i'm back from dad's friend house...while i'm waiting my mum to open the door and i'm talking with my bro...something fall on my neck, then i try and touch it, i feel something sharp, poking my fingers so i shouted and don't dare to touch it anymore, kept on jumping hoping it will get off from my neck...then my brother slipped and fell..then my dad thought i'm the one who pushed him so i gt scolding...NOT ME WHO PUSHED HIM!!!!! he slipped...and untill now, i don't know what is that 'little animal or insect' that fall on me...so from today onwards, there is only one word which i can describe insects is HATE.....i HATE insects