MAY 2012

Hi, everyone!! I'm back here to share with you guys what things that happened around me which I do not know how to face it or talk to to my friends..May 2012...I would say it as a month which I really gone through what the old said..Everyone would need to undergo birth, leaving, death and pain...I really hate those feelings which I have feel it 3 years ago...3 years ago, on the same year, I lost both my grandparents and 3 years later I lost my grandma and I got a bad news which I would not want it to happened at the same time. This news is the one that I worried the most and afraid of...I'm always being glad and happy that I have my family members around with me and felt pity for those that lose their family members and now I got a news that my mum has a possibility of getting cancer after few body check-ups..Tomorrow is the day the report would be out..I'm worried and afraid..The feeling of afraid that you might lost a family member which is really mean a lot to you is suffering..Days and days of worry and guessing make people couldn't sleep and eat well..My mum wouldn't want to see me worry about her by asking my sis not to tell me the results of her previous report when I was in uni..Being alone staying away from home and knowing your own family member with health problems did make me being emotional..But, I'm glad I have friends around me that really care about me and got worried when I got sick..Thanks a lot: Yi theng, yi qian, chui yee, sharon, audrey and jc...They are always there for me whenever I need them and I'm really happy that we meet each other and become close friends in uni..I still couldn't digest what had happened these days...But I'll be strong and tomorrow will be the day to get a good news..I'm waitingg.......................................

Feelings toward dogs

Dogs??? In few years back, dogs to me doesn't mean much although my house rears few dogs. But after I shifted house dogs slowly mean a lot to me. I wiling to bath them, take care of them, feed them and do what I can for them. These willingness maybe started after Zouky got pregnant and gave birth to 7 puppies. While she was giving birth I don't know why there is a feeling of happy and excited. My siblings and I took turns to milk feed them and seeing them growing bigger a day and a day, that really gave me a feel of satisfaction. 5 puppies have been given to friends and family with 2 puppies left at home with her mum. The giving of puppies did made me feel sad and unwilling but as long as all of them have a good owner that treats them good I'll be happy.

But rearing dogs are really not an easy job. You need to be responsible with anything happen to the dogs and when you really loves them, when they got sick, you would be worrying them and would not fall asleep. 

I came back home yesterday and I realized one of my puppies got sick. Saliva kept on dripping from his mouth and he looks so weak. The moment I opened the door of the cage, he would always jump out and excitedly jump towards me happily. But yesterday was the first time, no matter how I called him, he just don't feel like coming out. The active and cute 小黄 became so weak and silent. The moment I saw him, I really upset and I just blank out, I don't know what's the next step I should do and  I really don't used with this feelings as he is the one would be the loudest barking when I'm back from anywhere. I was so worried and I can't sleep well yesterday at all. The moment I closed up my eyes, all the pictures I can see are 小黄. I'm afraid of what the vet would say when I bring him to the clinic and what actually happened to 小黄. I kept on thinking and thinking but I just can't figure out. I did tried not to think about it and fall asleep but it really doesn't work. I really try hard to don't think about it but my mind just don't stop me from thinking about it. But slowly I don't know why at last I got to sleep but I kept on rolling on the bed not really fully asleep.

At last, I brought 小黄 to the vet, and the vet said he might accidentally lick something corrosive at home that makes his tongue got burnt therefore his can't swallow and hence he kept on salivating. When the vet was wiping his mouth, his gum kept on bleeding non-stop. He has suffered so much that he could not even eat or drink. I can feel how he feels but I can't help me to reduce the pain. The pain is on his body, but the pain I feel it deeply down in my heart. Later on, vet suggest him to admit in the clinic for 3 days and see how his condition is. If he does not recover in 3 days time, the vet would need to have a blood test on him to check whether is he having any organ damage especially in his kidney. On the way going home, I have two thinkings : First, I'm glad the vet can give him treatment and therefore he has a chance to recover. Secondly, I feel unsecure, I'm thinking 'what if he does not recover as vet said the worst that would happen on him is kidney damage and if it is serious he would die' I just can't accept the fact that the one used to be so active now admitted suffering in the clinic.

Just now, I received a call saying that 小黄 is really weak and blood test would need to be carry out. I'm really worried and afraid about his condition. I don't want him to die and I would really not used if he is not around me any more. I'm afraid to receive calls from the vet giving me the news which I wouldn't want. I don't dare to blog this alone in the room because alone in room blogging this would make me cry and more upset while blogging this in the living hall with my family members there would stop me to cry in front of everyone.I really pray hard that 小黄 would recover soon and no more bad news calls from the vet only GOOD news. This is really what I hope for now. 

Got to go and finish my reports and homeworks. Hope that by being busy I can stop thinking about what I don't want to think. nightzzz 

Hi, i'm back ;)

My last sem for my first year of degree have just passed...i'm done with my finalssssss........hahahahah...how much I wished I can shout out loud in a beach in which no one can get disturbed while im shoutinggg...I just can't remember how long I did not go to the beach...the last time was like end of last year I think..

My wishes for the next sem:

1) dun study last minutes...heheh (*did badly in my finals)

2) hope to see mr X more often as I really hardly get to meet him in uni

3) hope I can get to a company that I can learn lots of things during my internshippp

4) lastly and is the most important, have a happy sem with no more pek chek and no more dealing with people who never thinks before they speakkkkk.....thats the end....

Nightzzzz